Development is not linear: the rhythms of coaching
As a developmental coach and Non-Linear Movement Method® (NLMM) practitioner, I’m curious about the rhythms of development, relationships, and learning.
The foundation of NLMM® draws on both practice and philosophy from Gabrielle Roth’s dynamic movement meditation, 5 Rhythms. In 5 Rhythms, we speak about moving through waves. In adult developmental theory, we often speak about moving through stages.
In her book Sweat Your Prayers: The Five Rhythms of the Soul, Roth describes how these five waves run through everything we experience in life: nature’s seasons, storms, the five stages of grief, relationship arcs, and more. The waves we move through in a 5 Rhythms practice are:
Flowing
Staccato
Chaos
Lyrical
Stillness
Here’s the rhythms through the metaphor of eggs! (as described by Roth):
Flowing: soft-boiled
Staccato: hard-boiled
Chaos: scrambled
Lyrical: sunny-side up
Stillness: poached
Yum.
The Waves of Relationships
Roth beautifully describes the waves through her relationship with her long time husband, Robert:
Courtship (Flowing)
Commitment (Staccato)
Collision (Chaos)
Communion (Lyrical)
Confluence (Stillness)
What struck me when reading her description of a romantic relationship wave, was how clearly this plays out in working relationships, in teams and in the coaching journey.
I found myself overlaying the waves of the 5 Rhythms with the age-old model of team development: Bruce Tuckman’s Stages of Group Development (1965):
Forming
Storming
Norming
Performing
Reforming
Group Stages of Development created by Psychologist, Bruce Tuckman in 1965.
The 5 Rhythms of the Coaching Journey
I see these waves, these rhythm, constantly unfolding in teams, in professional and personal relationships, and in developmental coaching.
Here how I would describe an individual’s developmental journey in coaching through the lens of the 5 Rhythms:
Flowing
There is excitement at the beginning - embarking on an unknown journey, being supported, being heard. There is openness in sharing goals, challenges, desires, and frustrations. Stories are told, emotions are expressed, and there is a sense of ease and possibility.
Then, gradually, things begin to sharpen. Edges appear. And we move into -
Staccato
Through deep questioning, self-inquiry, noticing, experimentation, observation, and feedback, awareness increases. Conscious and unconscious behaviours become visible, along with their impact on self and others.
Behaviour patterns emerge - especially those that once supported your success but are no longer helpful. This stage can bring tension, resistance, discomfort, and frustration. A common question here is:
“What do I do about this?”
Which leads us into -
Chaos
The messiness of change. Judgment (of self and others), uncertainty, and the discomfort of ‘conscious incompetence’ arise. Old ways no longer work, new ways aren’t yet embodied, and trying on different behaviours can feel clunky and disorienting.
This is often the most challenging part of the journey. But this is the ‘heat’ that we need to change and grow. From here, something begins to shift -
Lyrical
With practice and experimentation, new responses start to land. Others respond differently. You notice change - in yourself and in the system around you.
There is more lightness, ease, creativity, and enjoyment. What once required effort begins to feel more natural. Movement becomes more fluid.
And eventually, this settles into -
Stillness
You have greater calm, confidence, and clarity. A deeper sense of who you are, how you want to lead, and how you want to be in the world emerges.
‘Unconscious competence’ begins to develop. You are ready to step forward independently, completing the coaching process for now and continuing in this new way of being and doing.
Reflection
Are you currently being coached, or moving through a developmental journey as an individual or team?
Which wave are you experiencing right now?
Where are you in your 5 Rhythms of coaching?
Where else do you notice these waves in your life and work?
Development is not linear - it is rhythmic. And each wave has its wisdom.